There’s a lot out there about how to reduce conflict at work. A lot of the stuff out there is very good.

This episode is about transforming conflict, and using it to your advantage. If conflict seems like something to avoid… If it seems like something you can win… Then, you’re doing it wrong.

We’ve got a companion blog post you can read. For those of you who don’t have time for well thought out articles, here’s your Mighty Good Work ADEPTability Skills Checklist:

Slow Down

Your primitive brain, and the fight or flight response is powerful, but it’s not the only game in town. You can teach yourself to override it.

1. Breathe: Try something called box breathing. Practice it anytime you feel a bit anxious or angry. Breathe in for a count of four. Hold your breath for four. Breathe out on a count of four. Hold for four. Breathe in for four. Repeat. This may not be practical during an argument, but it’s great before initiating a conversation that you anticipate may be stressful. And, even during the interaction, bringing your attention to your breath, and doing this box breathing as much as possible is a powerful fight or flight defuser. Just ask a Navy Seal. This is a technique they use in actual battle.
2. Look for common ground. Actually take a moment with your collaborator, your employee, your negotiating partner, whomever. Name the things you agree on in detail -- breadth and depth. Notice how much common ground you have that surrounds the points of contention. It’ll put the disagreement in perspective and remind you of how aligned you truly are.
3. Puzzle it. Sit on the same side of the table -- literally or figuratively -- and investigate the problem. You’re looking together at a jigsaw puzzle, trying to find the solution. Your pieces aren’t better or worse, or even yours. Theirs neither. They’re not your ideas or their ideas. All ideas are joint property. They’re all just puzzle pieces. And they either fit, or they don’t.
4. Murder the unchosen alternatives. When the decision is made about which direction to go down -- yours, theirs, a third unrelated one or a hybrid of the two -- put your doubts to rest. You may not be able to quash them, but don’t feed them. Instruct yourself, “We’ve made a decision. Whether I agree with it or not is irrelevant. That ship has sailed, and my job is to back this plan of action to the hilt.” Every plan of action but the one that was chosen is done. Burn your boats. Don’t dwell. And if it’s your plan that’s in action, don’t gloat.

Reap the benefits

By following this approach to difference and conflict, you’ll reap rewards. Your relationships will thrive. Your blood pressure will improve. Your organization's decision making will be more effective. Your results will be better.

If you want, you can think of this as the “BLIMP” method. If you look above, you’ll see the steps… BLPM. Ok. BLIMP is a stretch. I just know people like acronyms.

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Your host on Mighty Good Work is Aaron Schmookler.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/schmookler/

And, we’re The Yes Works -- Helping to make work good for people, and make people good for work.

www.TheYesWorks.com

GUEST: Eric Johnson -- CFO of Nintex

Nintex is a leader in workflow and content automation. Making more time in workflow for what really matters.

The Eric Johnson approach: When I make a commitment, I deliver on that commitment. That builds respect and trust. Caring about people, and hold a mark of high integrity. And look for creating benefit for everyone.

If you’re great to work with, and you do great work, life goes pretty well.

We’ve never taken venture capital to fund operations.

How are we achieving excellence, growth and recognition? It’s a combination of a few things.

1. Fundamentally, serve a broad need around something that people care about.
2. A great distribution model. We’ve done a great job of partnering to distribute and get great results for the customer.
3. Hire great people. We are disciplined about how we hire, and how we treat people.

If you’re competent, but terrible to work with, we’ll try to help you be better to work with… and ultimately, ask you to move on if you don’t improve.

We’re transparent about how we want to work and what our values are. We onboard with a 30-60-90 process and again at 180 and there’s straight-talk about how they’re living up to expectations.

Through our management training, we work to prepare our managers for positive feedback for a positive culture. Celebrate success. Recognize good work. This happens on a large scale and a small scale.

Managers are given guidance and training, not simply expected to be effective without guidance and oversight.

One-on-ones are expected to be a regular thing: weekly or semi-weekly. The reporting in one-on-ones isn’t just about the performance. “How are YOU doing?”

When you employ best people practices, you can experience the difference quickly and powerfully.

There is a hierarchy of function and roles -- and a personal way of relating to one another.

We operate with a high level of transparency, and allow employees to ask probative questions. We don’t always answer with a high-level of specificity. But we are honest, even if we’re delivering an answer they may not want to hear.

It’s important to identify the opportunities to say “no” to.

1) What has alignment with our core values and goals, and what doesn’t?

2) After clearing that alignment, what’s going to deliver value to customers and investors?

When there is disagreement around important questions… people need to be heard. They need to have the opportunity to go through the exploration process.

If you’re not going to allow everyone on the team to express their ideas, and to be affected by the input of others -- then why have a team?

When we face a situation that may in the short term be worse for us, but it’s right in the long term for partnering, then we go with the right in the long term for partnering.

We need to do the right thing for partners, and the right thing for customers. That way, we have sustainable outcome -- not flash in the pan temporary gains.

We don’t let policy prevent us from doing the right thing.

Caring for employees, partners and customers pays dividends.

Today’s guest: Eric Johnson, CFO of Nintex

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ebjohnson1/

https://www.nintex.com/

Your host on Mighty Good Work is Aaron Schmookler.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/schmookler/

And, we’re The Yes Works -- Helping to make work good for people, and make people good for work.

www.TheYesWorks.com